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The moment one introduces the idea
of reward or merit into the act
of sharing, caring, helping,
one introduces a divide, negating
the simplicity, the purity,
of the act.
The loving act is
sufficient unto itself.
The loving act
does not require you
to act with a loving feeling -
but to act even when there is no
loving feeling.
*
She is in pain,
her body dying of cancer.
I promise to stay with her a while.
She does not feel like talking, needs restful sleep.
I sit quietly.
What am I doing?
You could say, "Nothing" or "Something."
Rather than analyze, I prefer to recall
the joy of this being-with her, even as
I recall the inward prayer. This prayer -
that I let go of any agenda to do something.
Entreaty to enter into a sense of helplessness
that ushers in a more loving, more graceful caring
than following the sense of need to act
in some apparently more
helpful way.
This prayerful posture welcomes a sense
of groundlessness, a releasing of control
of process
and destination.
One discovers, in the act, freedom from time
as a progression from and toward,
allowing a resting with the other,
an allowing the other to be free in
the sacredness of a shared solitude, and
solitude meets solitude.
Person, the sense of self, recedes
into the background.
Presence - the sole presence - moves into
the foreground and spontaneously acts,
even through non-action.
No longer is there a contrast between
doing and
not-doing.
So, we can ask ourselves,
"Can I welcome the feeling of groundlessness -
the sense of choiceless being-with -
allowing something more than my sense of 'i'
to be with another for the
good of the other?"
*
Remember,
your presence is a manifestation of Presence,
and when presence - 'i' - recedes,
Presence - 'I' - comes forth.
Remember,
when with the other
that you are present to be-with for their blessing, and
relaxing into the living situation without
deciding what must or needs to happen
welcomes the freedom of spontaneous unfolding.
Remember,
when you are present for the blessing of another,
you are present, as they are,
for the blessing -
which is neither yours nor theirs...
yet, it is given to you both.
*
So,
what happened as I sat with the patient?
Adjusting pillows,
helping with cushioning an aching body,
a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator before leaving,
...
So,
what did I get from this?
You could say, "Nothing" or "Something" -
Does it matter?
*
Even to say, and wisely, "No" in Grace
cannot touch the "Yes" of Love,
which does the touching.
*
(C) Brian Wilcox, 2026
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